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Foreign adoptions
Apr
28
I'm looking for information for parents concerning foreign adoptions. Many
of my families have internet access and are also looking to adopt from
places such as Romania, Russia, South America, and the Far East. Does
anyone know of any Web sites or discussion groups on the web for these
folks. I found some info at www.parentsoup.com.
Thanx
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Wayne G. Fellmeth, MD, FAAP
Hunterdon Pediatric Associates, pc
Flemington, NJ
hidden@email-address
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Foreign adoptions
Foreign adoption is an uncomfortable topic for me. For a while during
the war in Viet Nam I worked with war wounded children. The
organization I worked with arranged for sophisticated medical care to be
provided in the west for carefully selected (by me) children for their
war wounds. In most cases I found these children in US Military
hospitals where they had been stabilized after being picked up as
wounded survivors in the field after military ops. After arranging for
their transport out of the country I would start looking for surviving
family members. Usually the children would have very little information
about where they had lived and any official records were usually useless
or worse. I would set off into the country side with a photo of the
child, some names of parents and family members. Commonly I would
discover that these children's villages no longer existed. I would find
a bulldozed field where thousands had once lived. In spite of this I
never, not once, failed to find family members who were eager to receive
these children back after treatment into what remained of their
families. These children, if they had survived their wounds, would
ordinarily have entered the stream of "orphaned children" ready for
export to western countries. A great deal of money was made off of the
export of "orphaned" children. I have no credible evidence that any of
these racially vietnamese children were ever discarded by their
families. The evidence was that they were merely displaced by war.
Consequently, I am very skeptical about international adoption. I do
not confront adoptive parents about my concerns. That would be adding
injury to possible tragedy. On the other hand, I have no respect for
the people who promote international adoption and carefully avoid
enabling this often unseemly process.
Merry Christmas.
herb
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Foreign adoptions
Message from Vicki L Soloniuk hidden@email-address
Actually, there is a certain amount of "baby buying" going on this country.
Central Washington had that CPS worker who also ran an adoption agency placing
kids that she had removed from parental custody.... I've seen babies up to the
highest bidder in my own practice. I do have to say, though, that the story
about the Vietnamese mother who tracked her child to an adoptive family in
South Dakota only to be shot and killed by the adoptive parent was the most
chilling I have heard.
Like you, in general I don't get too specific about this sort of thing with the
families in my practice though I will ask them what they know about the birth
family, etc. And we certainly do see both birth parents and adoptive children
tracking each other down on a regular basis.
Vicki
Herb Ruhs wrote:
> Foreign adoption is an uncomfortable topic for me. For a while during
> the war in Viet Nam I worked with war wounded children. The
> organization I worked with arranged for sophisticated medical care to be
> provided in the west for carefully selected (by me) children for their
> war wounds. In most cases I found these children in US Military
> hospitals where they had been stabilized after being picked up as
> wounded survivors in the field after military ops. After arranging for
> their transport out of the country I would start looking for surviving
> family members. Usually the children would have very little information
> about where they had lived and any official records were usually useless
> or worse. I would set off into the country side with a photo of the
> child, some names of parents and family members. Commonly I would
> discover that these children's villages no longer existed. I would find
> a bulldozed field where thousands had once lived. In spite of this I
> never, not once, failed to find family members who were eager to receive
> these children back after treatment into what remained of their
> families. These children, if they had survived their wounds, would
> ordinarily have entered the stream of "orphaned children" ready for
> export to western countries. A great deal of money was made off of the
> export of "orphaned" children. I have no credible evidence that any of
> these racially vietnamese children were ever discarded by their
> families. The evidence was that they were merely displaced by war.
>
> Consequently, I am very skeptical about international adoption. I do
> not confront adoptive parents about my concerns. That would be adding
> injury to possible tragedy. On the other hand, I have no respect for
> the people who promote international adoption and carefully avoid
> enabling this often unseemly process.
>
> Merry Christmas.
>
> herb
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> @ O O
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>
Foreign adoptions
As a adoptive father of a son from Korea and a daughter from Nepal as a PAP
and someone who travels to asia to escort and someone who runs a pre
parenting class for adoptive parents I guess the concept of buying children
is laughable comment at best.
We chose to adopt before we got married , because my wife is a Juvenile
onset and I wanted to keep her eyes and kidneys intact. Catholic Charities
wouldn't talk to us because I wasn't catholic and Lutheran Family Services
said no because my wife wasn't Lutheran, we had a few adoptions fall
through and if I ahd it to do over again, I still would adopt
internationally, just my 2 cents worth,
Bob
http://telehealth.net/interviews/pykebio.html
Foreign adoptions
Message from Vicki L Soloniuk hidden@email-address
Bob Pyke Jr wrote:
> I guess the concept of buying children
> is laughable comment at best.
If so, you are lucky. Most of the private American adoptions I've been exposed
to have seemed to have some of that element. One birth mom had the
prospective families bidding for the child. She sent the child home with each
family for a week to see how it worked out then when time to decide between the
families, she told each what the other had offered to do for her, encouraging
them to up the ante.
Vicki
Foreign adoptions
> Bob Pyke Jr wrote:
>
> > I guess the concept of buying children
> > is laughable comment at best.
Vicki L Soloniuk wrote:
> If so, you are lucky.
I'll have to concur with Vicki. I have a good friend, single female, who is
adopting. Because she is single and 45, only a few agencies would consider her.
Amazingly, those agencies are also the ones who added $10 -15K to the price. She
expects the final total to be $40K, maybe a bit more. Fortunately, she is
independently wealthy and it did not phase her. Sadly, the fact that she would be
an excellent parent, is highly educated, and plans to be a stay at home mom meant
nothing. In the end, it came down to cash.
As an adoptee, and someone who loves children, I have often thought of adopting.
I have natural children, but still somehow feel I would share a special bond with
an adopted child. I would simply be overjoyed. Sadly, the cost is the only thing
that has kept us from considering it further.
Tammy
Foreign adoptions
Message from Graham Barden hidden@email-address
Both of our kids are adopted. My wife and I were somewhat hesitant about the
second adoption because we knew the first brought so much joy - we were afraid we
may be depriving another couple somewhere of the joy of having a child and
creating a family. But we decided to adopt and are extremely happy with both. I
still wonder if we are a bit selfish for adopting two - asking for seconds when
there are not enough for firsts. (during the process we went to one meeting where
there were 60 couples that all looked like us very much wanting to adopt where we
were told they expect to be able to place 5 that whole year...)
So Tammy -
Feel good about not having adopted a child - you may have helped create a family
where before there was none....
-graham
--- Original Message -----
From:
To:
Sent: Thursday, December 27, 2001 2:44 PM
Subject: Re: Foreign adoptions
> Bob Pyke Jr wrote:
>
> > I guess the concept of buying children
> > is laughable comment at best.
Vicki L Soloniuk wrote:
> If so, you are lucky.
I'll have to concur with Vicki. I have a good friend, single female, who is
adopting. Because she is single and 45, only a few agencies would consider her.
Amazingly, those agencies are also the ones who added $10 -15K to the price. She
expects the final total to be $40K, maybe a bit more. Fortunately, she is
independently wealthy and it did not phase her. Sadly, the fact that she would be
an excellent parent, is highly educated, and plans to be a stay at home mom meant
nothing. In the end, it came down to cash.
As an adoptee, and someone who loves children, I have often thought of adopting.
I have natural children, but still somehow feel I would share a special bond with
an adopted child. I would simply be overjoyed. Sadly, the cost is the only thing
that has kept us from considering it further.
Tammy
Foreign adoptions
Message from Kevin Kramer hidden@email-address
Skepticism may be appropriate to an extent, but the fact is that cultural
issues in different countries may result in children becoming available for
adoption. These issues vastly differ from the circumstance that you mention
of a child displaced from family by war. It is unsettling that in some
countries unwed mothers are stoned to death, but that is a fact. Trying to
locate the family of such an abandoned infant could be a death sentence to
the child's mother.
Your negative bias against international adoption, is one that many of us
adoptive parents experience among health professionals, unfortunately.
Dr. Kramer
-----Original Message-----
From: Herb Ruhs
>Consequently, I am very skeptical about international adoption. I do
>not confront adoptive parents about my concerns. That would be adding
>injury to possible tragedy. On the other hand, I have no respect for
>the people who promote international adoption and carefully avoid
>enabling this often unseemly process.
>
>Merry Christmas.
>
>herb